Honestly, I find it very hard to blog while we are "in the trenches". It has been just shy of 5 months since W and L came to live with us. In many ways, a lot of progress has been made but when you are sitting in the middle of things, it's sometimes hard to see passed the struggles right in front of you..
When I wrote last, we were processing the decision to move Baby A from our home into her Great Aunt's home. This is still hard to understand and seeing little A makes it even harder to let our hearts move forward. We love that little girl and it's tough to see her but not be her caregiver. Though it was difficult for the other kids, they have adjusted to not having her around full time. They still see her a couple times a month and we try to also take her for a long weekend to give them some extra time together to continue to encourage their sibling bond.
In late October, after hearing four days of testimony, the court made the decision to terminate parental rights for the three older children (L, W and their older brother who currently lives in a therapeutic group home). This was a tough decision for the children to hear and they are slowly starting to understand what this means. Unfortunately, this decision doesn't give the children a clear plan for the future as of yet but at least it is a start. We are now working with an adoption specialist whose is job it is find these children a forever home. This is a long complicated process and as Gods plan unfolds for these children's lives, we are doing our best to lead and guide them during this confusing transition period.
As for our daily lives, we are, as I mentioned, in the trenches. After years without structure and stability, with poor examples and exposure to too many unhealthy things, we are slowly attempting to teach things like respect, thinking before acting, gratitude, positive thoughts, and personal choices and responsibility. It is a challenging task, to unteach bad habits, and attempt to replace them with good positive ones. I feel like a broken record and often it feels like there is someone in time out at any given moment.
But we really are making progress. We have seen a dramatic reduction in violent tantrums; what started out as a nearly daily occurrence has gone down to maybe one a month. Mealtimes are also dramatically better; everyone is learning to try new foods and understanding that it's okay to eat something that's not your favorite because it may be someone else's favorite. It's a constant and deliberate process to attempt to have the children think from someone else's perspective. The biggest improvement we have seen is in bedtime. We made some changes and separated two of the boys and since we did that, bedtimes have been a breeze. I can get all 4 down from start to finish in under an hour!
We ask that you continue to keep these children in your prayers. They are learning so much about life and it's very difficult for them. There has been many adjustments in their short lives and there are still more to come. We pray that the perfect forever family will be found and that these children will have only one more transition in their lives. We praying that we are doing everything we can to prepare them for this transition and that it will come in God's perfect timing.
But we really are making progress. We have seen a dramatic reduction in violent tantrums; what started out as a nearly daily occurrence has gone down to maybe one a month. Mealtimes are also dramatically better; everyone is learning to try new foods and understanding that it's okay to eat something that's not your favorite because it may be someone else's favorite. It's a constant and deliberate process to attempt to have the children think from someone else's perspective. The biggest improvement we have seen is in bedtime. We made some changes and separated two of the boys and since we did that, bedtimes have been a breeze. I can get all 4 down from start to finish in under an hour!
We ask that you continue to keep these children in your prayers. They are learning so much about life and it's very difficult for them. There has been many adjustments in their short lives and there are still more to come. We pray that the perfect forever family will be found and that these children will have only one more transition in their lives. We praying that we are doing everything we can to prepare them for this transition and that it will come in God's perfect timing.
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