We are two weeks into this new version of our family and so much has changed. We knew this was going to be a challenge but knowing and experiencing are very different things.
We are balancing new routines, new personalities, new food likes/dislikes and more. We are figuring out the kids "triggers" and quickly learning how diffuse a situation before it spirals out of control. We are learning how to handle fits when they do develop into them. And we are starting to learn how to teach older children skills that will allow them to better cope with their feelings and expressing their fears, worries and what is bothering them. It has been a challenging couple of weeks but great at the same time.
Though we still have moments of being completely overwhelmed by the demands of 5 kids 6 and under, we still feel like this is right. Not only is it the right thing to keep all three of these siblings together but it's right for our family and the calling that God has placed on our hearts (more on His calling on a different day).
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
How I'm doing, honestly.
In an attempt to be somewhat transparent and honest about this journey I feel like I should share how I'm feeling.
Despite the fact that the transition has been going better than we thought it would and despite the fact that we have already seen progress and signs of everyone settling in, I am struggling.
For those who know me well, I am an introvert and not having a single second to myself from 7am until 10 pm is completely draining to me. I feel like my tank is empty and when I need extra patience, compassion and understanding, I am struggling. More often than not, I feel completely overwhelmed and unequipped to handle it all. I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing; I'm worried about not spreading my attention evenly; I'm concerned about how this is affecting our boys and I wonder if we did the right thing. I'm stressed about my business and the fact that I haven't been able to work in nearly two weeks. I am overwhelmed by the mountain of laundry and seems to be growing at an alarming rate.
I know that we are just finishing up week one and things are bound to get easier but right now, it's tough to see how I will manage. I read a great article about the challenges that introvert moms face and I think it explains my struggles very well.
http://theaquilareport.com/motherhood-the-introverts-challenge/#.UgOmchZdItG.blogger
Please continue to pray for all of us as we continue to get to know each other and figure out how to relate best to one another. Please pray for our boys, who are feeling the challenges of having less space and more personalities around. Please pray for the two older foster kids who are struggling with settling into new routines, schedules, food, bed and new authority figures. We all have a long road ahead of us with many challenges and I pray that trust will be built quickly so we can come together and begin functioning in a more cohesive way.
I have complete faith in Gods strength to get me through this tough time because my human strength and endurance is not enough.
"Don't you know who made everything?
Haven't you heard about him?
The Lord is the God who lives forever.
He created everything on earth. He won't become worn out or get tired.
No one will ever know how great his understanding is.
He gives strength to those who are tired.
He gives power to those who are weak."
(Isaiah 40:28, 29 NIRV)
Despite the fact that the transition has been going better than we thought it would and despite the fact that we have already seen progress and signs of everyone settling in, I am struggling.
For those who know me well, I am an introvert and not having a single second to myself from 7am until 10 pm is completely draining to me. I feel like my tank is empty and when I need extra patience, compassion and understanding, I am struggling. More often than not, I feel completely overwhelmed and unequipped to handle it all. I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing; I'm worried about not spreading my attention evenly; I'm concerned about how this is affecting our boys and I wonder if we did the right thing. I'm stressed about my business and the fact that I haven't been able to work in nearly two weeks. I am overwhelmed by the mountain of laundry and seems to be growing at an alarming rate.
I know that we are just finishing up week one and things are bound to get easier but right now, it's tough to see how I will manage. I read a great article about the challenges that introvert moms face and I think it explains my struggles very well.
http://theaquilareport.com/motherhood-the-introverts-challenge/#.UgOmchZdItG.blogger
Please continue to pray for all of us as we continue to get to know each other and figure out how to relate best to one another. Please pray for our boys, who are feeling the challenges of having less space and more personalities around. Please pray for the two older foster kids who are struggling with settling into new routines, schedules, food, bed and new authority figures. We all have a long road ahead of us with many challenges and I pray that trust will be built quickly so we can come together and begin functioning in a more cohesive way.
I have complete faith in Gods strength to get me through this tough time because my human strength and endurance is not enough.
"Don't you know who made everything?
Haven't you heard about him?
The Lord is the God who lives forever.
He created everything on earth. He won't become worn out or get tired.
No one will ever know how great his understanding is.
He gives strength to those who are tired.
He gives power to those who are weak."
(Isaiah 40:28, 29 NIRV)
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
A day at the courthouse.
Today, I had another foster parenting and personal first.
I spent the day at the courthouse.
It was a long tough day with another two still ahead but it was eye opening for me. Spending a day on a hard church-like pew, just listening to testimony after testimony was incredibly exhausting. Hearing about the family history of the children in my care was heart breaking but in order to understand them better, it's also necessary.
The best part of my day?
Arriving home to five beautiful smiling faces and plenty of hugs. Seeing how much fun that everyone had with Pete and knowing that all these kiddos, my biological kids and my foster kids are safe and thriving.
That makes all this worth it.
Plus all the kids are asleep (other than the baby who needs a final bottle) and its before 9:30. It's a new record! We will have to get that closer to 8 very quickly but for now, it's a small victory.
I spent the day at the courthouse.
It was a long tough day with another two still ahead but it was eye opening for me. Spending a day on a hard church-like pew, just listening to testimony after testimony was incredibly exhausting. Hearing about the family history of the children in my care was heart breaking but in order to understand them better, it's also necessary.
The best part of my day?
Arriving home to five beautiful smiling faces and plenty of hugs. Seeing how much fun that everyone had with Pete and knowing that all these kiddos, my biological kids and my foster kids are safe and thriving.
That makes all this worth it.
Plus all the kids are asleep (other than the baby who needs a final bottle) and its before 9:30. It's a new record! We will have to get that closer to 8 very quickly but for now, it's a small victory.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Two days in
I just wanted to give everyone a quick update.
W and L arrived Friday afternoon and they were greeted by our two very excited boys. Everyone was very excited and once we got a bit settled things have been going surprizingly well. Granted it hasn't been without a few hiccups but honestly, the initial transition has been very smooth. The toughest part has been trying to get everyone settled for bed and Izzy has been the hardest one to convince that it's time to sleep.
Tomorrow will be our first attempt to take all five kiddos anywhere. I figure church is the best place for a trial run - a place full of grace and child care.
We continue to ask for your prayers. We have about a week and a half before school starts for all the kids which will be yet another transition for all of them. They have all be managing well in the short term but we are always aware that when the honeymoon period is over, we could be facing a number of challenges.
W and L arrived Friday afternoon and they were greeted by our two very excited boys. Everyone was very excited and once we got a bit settled things have been going surprizingly well. Granted it hasn't been without a few hiccups but honestly, the initial transition has been very smooth. The toughest part has been trying to get everyone settled for bed and Izzy has been the hardest one to convince that it's time to sleep.
Tomorrow will be our first attempt to take all five kiddos anywhere. I figure church is the best place for a trial run - a place full of grace and child care.
We continue to ask for your prayers. We have about a week and a half before school starts for all the kids which will be yet another transition for all of them. They have all be managing well in the short term but we are always aware that when the honeymoon period is over, we could be facing a number of challenges.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Almost here
For days now our two boys have been asking "When are W & L coming?" Well boys, only three more sleeps.
The anticipation has been building and things are now nearly complete and ready for their arrival. This experience has been very different than our typical new foster placements. In the past, I usually receive a call from the case worker anywhere from a couple hours to 30 minutes before they arrive at our home. But since we usually take one baby at a time, there's not too much to prepare. Pull out some diapers, appropriate size clothes and some bottles; a quick 15 minutes of prep.
I am very grateful that we had plenty of notice for this transition. Not only was I able to get the house cleaned up and set up in an organized, somewhat relaxed or at very least thoughtful way, but we were able to prepare our boys. Having two more kids, near their age, sharing their toys, space and parental attention is a huge adjustment on it's own but to have it with no notice - I can't imagine the stress that would cause them. But now with their little minds somewhat wrapped around the concept and the changes happening, the excitement and anticipation is building.
As for us, the parents, we have been busy in other ways. School supplies, school clothes, beds, sheets, toys, extra lawn chairs and car seats have all been bought/borrowed/gifted and I'm about as ready as I can be. Other than a few more cleaning tasks, there's not much more to do. Mentally and emotionally, I am nervous - there is so much I can't plan for. I'm praying that the transition will go smoothly for all the kids. I'm praying that everyone settles into a good routine fairly quickly because in a short 12 days after the kids arrive, school starts. Most of all, I pray for all the future unknowns in these kiddos lives. As with all foster placements, we have no idea what will transpire in the future. There are a lot of variables but we really hope and pray that these siblings will remain together. That is the reason we have moved them into our home; so that they can bond as siblings and create relationships that will last their entire lives, as brothers and sisters should.
Please continue to pray for us. We appreciate all the generosity we have seen over the last few weeks. We have had a flood of toys, clothes and most importantly support. It has been a blessing beyond words.
The anticipation has been building and things are now nearly complete and ready for their arrival. This experience has been very different than our typical new foster placements. In the past, I usually receive a call from the case worker anywhere from a couple hours to 30 minutes before they arrive at our home. But since we usually take one baby at a time, there's not too much to prepare. Pull out some diapers, appropriate size clothes and some bottles; a quick 15 minutes of prep.
I am very grateful that we had plenty of notice for this transition. Not only was I able to get the house cleaned up and set up in an organized, somewhat relaxed or at very least thoughtful way, but we were able to prepare our boys. Having two more kids, near their age, sharing their toys, space and parental attention is a huge adjustment on it's own but to have it with no notice - I can't imagine the stress that would cause them. But now with their little minds somewhat wrapped around the concept and the changes happening, the excitement and anticipation is building.
As for us, the parents, we have been busy in other ways. School supplies, school clothes, beds, sheets, toys, extra lawn chairs and car seats have all been bought/borrowed/gifted and I'm about as ready as I can be. Other than a few more cleaning tasks, there's not much more to do. Mentally and emotionally, I am nervous - there is so much I can't plan for. I'm praying that the transition will go smoothly for all the kids. I'm praying that everyone settles into a good routine fairly quickly because in a short 12 days after the kids arrive, school starts. Most of all, I pray for all the future unknowns in these kiddos lives. As with all foster placements, we have no idea what will transpire in the future. There are a lot of variables but we really hope and pray that these siblings will remain together. That is the reason we have moved them into our home; so that they can bond as siblings and create relationships that will last their entire lives, as brothers and sisters should.
Please continue to pray for us. We appreciate all the generosity we have seen over the last few weeks. We have had a flood of toys, clothes and most importantly support. It has been a blessing beyond words.
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